Jason’s musings

I just need a little time

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Because there weren’t already lyrics for So F’ing Pimp:

I’m so Pimp it should be a crime
My site’s been slashdotted four seperate times
I can factor numbers into their constituent primes
Oh, and did I mention that I spit the dopest rhymes

My cotton sheets are three hundred thread count
I got overdraft protection on my checking account
I got dual flat panel nineteen inch screens
I got slim flit boot cut Levi jeans
I can solve a rubicks cube in ninety seconds flat
I know all the fatalities in mortal combat
I scored a fifteen ninety on the SATs
I got a masters degree from MIT
I got Office season three on DVD
And that’s why I’m a motherfucking P-I-M-P

[I’m pimp… So pimp…]

I code in Java, Lisp, C and Perl
One time I swear I even saw a naked girl
I wear boxer briefs from Fruit of the Loom
There’s a foosball table in my living room

I’m top of the line, first in the class
Leader of the pack, number one brass
It’s platonic truth, I’m like an ideal gas
Pretty as a picture and smooth as glass

I’m fast as lightning, strong as an ox
Fit as a fiddle and sly as a fox
Cool as a cucumber, in fact I’m ice cold
I’m fine as wine, I’m good as gold
I’m the best there is son, second to none
Cream of the crop, can’t be outdone

I’m sharp as a tack, bright as the sun
I’m sweeter than sugar, and twice as fun
I’m tough as nails, hard as a rock
Tip of the top, the cock of the wok

You know I’m honest as the day is long
And I’m so fucking pimp I had to write this song

[I’m pimp… So pimp…]

My HMO’s co pay is only ten bucks
My motherboard’s a sus-p-five deluxe
I got a quad band walkman phone
And you know I got a badass ringtone

I’m the head honcho, the daddy mack
I’m the numero uno, the leader of the pack
I’m the big kahuna, the top of the stack
Yo, if this were France, I’d be Jacques Chirac

If I were a perfume, I would be Chanel
If i were a prize, I would be the Nobel
If I were a hotel, I would be the Plaza
If I were an espresso, I would be Lavazza
If I were a number, I would be complex
If I were a watch, I would be Rolex
If I were Greek, they would call me Zeus
If I were a vodka, I would be grey goose
If I were a primate, I would be a chimp
Which is just a way of saying that I’m so fucking pimp

[I’m pimp… So pimp…]

Were I a play mode, I would be shuffle
Were I a fungus, I would be a truffle
A composer? I would be Bach
A bag? I’d be a Ziploc

Written by jasonmc

November 20, 2008 at 2:41 pm

Posted in nerdcore

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